Coffee. More than nano-machines, more than magic, more than jet fuel; Hellion runs on coffee. Without it, workers across the planet, including yours truly, would spend our mornings groaning and rolling around on the floor instead of doing our jobs.
But is coffee the great unifier, or another divide across the city? My duty today was to find out. From the top to the bottom of the city, we’re getting coffee.
First stop: GEB cafe in Union Heights. Employees S3R4H and Tabitha kindly opened up a little early to kick off our adventure. My friend Abel met me outside after I lured him in with promises of free coffee.
GEB’s Summertime blend

Beans: Sourced from GEB production off world, roasted in house.
Flavour profile: Sweet, savoury, a sensory overload of flavour.
Some coffees gently fill you with energy. They rub the sleep from your eyes, and help you shake off the pull of the nights’ tiredness. Tabitha’s special Summertime blend isn’t one of those.
The Summertime blend is a drill sergeant that pours cold water on your bunk and throws you on the back of a magical unicorn which rockets off on a lightspeed journey through candyland. The taste is engineered to perfection – a smooth transition of sweet flavours that contrast perfectly with the undertones of rich GEB coffee. But the kick is something else. This is a coffee that makes you ready to run a marathon and sell your bed, because you’ll never need to sleep again.
Next on the docket was Scraptown. The journey from the Heights was a blur, a vivid slideshow of colours, some of which I’m confident have never been seen by man before.
The always vivacious Jyggal let our manic demeanour slide as the eccentries of city folk – but regretfully informed us that the Grille doesn’t usually serve coffee. But as our shoulders slump, she quickly adds ‘However..’
The brass contraption she produces doesn’t look like any coffee machine I’ve ever seen. It isn’t one. Jyggal tells us the mysterious device was found in the desert – and while she has no idea how it works, if you feed it organic material and make a request, it somehow can produce whatever liquid edible you want.
Whether by means technological, magical, or biological, the lizard meat goes in, and ‘coffee’ comes out.
Coffee(?)

Beans: N/A?
Flavour profile: Bitter, with a sweet, acidic kick
The liquid we drank, it’s hard to exactly call it coffee. It was black, and it smelled like coffee. It almost tasted like it. The acidic flavour and almost fermented aftertaste gave it a slight sense of unreality, a reminder that the drink we were consuming came from places unknown. Nonetheless, the effect was nourishing – a slow burn energy and a smooth pick me up that fended off our incoming sugar crash.
As always, the friendly service keeps the Oasis Grille on the map – even as the only option in hard-scrabble Scraptown, they made us feel welcome. But we couldn’t stay. Our adventure wasn’t over yet – and our next stop was Row 32.
Unfortunately, the hole in the wall ramen bar that acts as the epicentre of life in Row 32 was closed by the time we arrived – and we weren’t sure if it served coffee anyway. So for Row 32, it was a quick stop into the Dirty Burg, the local diner. They gave us coffee in a can.
Coffee In a Can

Beans: In the can
Flavour profile: Bitter, with a hint of can.
Not too much to say about this one. It’s coffee in a can. It keeps you going. It wakes you up for your sixteen hour shift, and it keeps you upright as you make ends meet in a district that always seems to be tensed for the next crisis. My apologies to Row 32. Next time, I’d like to check out the noodles, for a real taste of what this vibrant District has to offer.
For our last coffee, we venture down into the dark. Through the pipes, that were once so unfamiliar, but now feel more and more familiar – the Undercity.
Once again, we have to sheepishly request owner Nia and employee Zilla to open up for us, as we’ve missed the morning rush. But they’re happy to oblige. The Chantrelle Cafe, Nia explains, is run for the benefit of residents – using food grown locally in the Undercity grove, and run at near-cost, to make sure everyone has access to a meal.
Weeks on from their formal separation from the city grid, the Undercity had begun to take faltering first steps towards self sufficiency. The lights, formally powered from the city grid, were replaced with magic crystals that pulsed with a warm glow. Slowly, power was being restored, and a fragile sense of normality was in the air.
The Chantrelle menu offered all the classic coffee options. Latte, Mocha…Fishy? What the hell is Fishy coffee? Our baristas explained that a former resident, Wisp, used to mix their coffee with fish they caught in the reservoir…and that this drink, mixing coffee with emulsified fish oil, is a riff on that legacy. I ordered myself a fishy coffee. I mean, I had to, right?
Fishy Coffee

Beans: Sourced from the Undercity Grove, Roasted in-house with fire magic.
Flavour Profile: Bold, bright, rich, with a strong aroma and a hint of oil.
The Chantrelle cafe makes good coffee. I’ve had it before, and it’s a rich, bold dark roast. Just the thing to brighten a dark tunnel under the city. Does fish oil improve the coffee experience? To be completely honest – no. But that’s not why it’s there. It’s there because someone made their mark as part of this community. It’s a legacy – a little whimsical piece of history – one that won’t be recorded in the history books.
Coffee. It’s not just something that keeps going, and keeps us productive. It’s something we do for each other, with each other. It’s a way of taking care of each other, and our community. Whether we use magic, strange contraptions, or get it out of a can, coffee can bring us together. It wasn’t the coffee that fueled this adventure across the city. It was the kindness of people who opened their shops out of hours. It was Abel, for keeping me company from Union Heights to Scraptown and back. It was Salvation City.








